Biblical Flying Saucers

Praise Sweet Baby Jesus! Reverend Jeremiah here! There are a few conspiracy theorists that suggest that the authors of the bible have written verses about flying saucers and extraterrestrial beings from outer space with great technological abilities. Bible scholar, Barry Downing, firmly believes that biblical teachings were inspired by extraterrestrial beings who came to earth in flying saucers. Downing was so convinced, he wrote a book about his theory called THE BIBLE AND FLYING SAUCERS (Lippincott, New York, 1968). These theorists have obviously not read the entire bible, because the bible CLEARLY states that the sky is solid, nor does it specifically mention any planets, and that the stars are no larger than figs, or marbles. These are some of the verses they use to “prove” their conjecture;

Psalms 68:17
The chariots of God [are] twenty thousand, [even] thousands of angels: the Lord [is] among them, [as in] Sinai, in the holy [place].

These “chariots of God” are what extra terrestrial conspiracy theorists claim to be alien space craft. This verse now sounds like Jehovah (God) has an armada of 20,000 war ships manned by thousands of alien (angel) troopers, and even the great war lord himself is among them! Let us do Ezekiel 1 in context. context is VERY important, because it shows how full of shit these “astronauts in the bible” people are:

Ezekiel 1:1
Now it came to pass in the thirtieth year, in the fourth [month], in the fifth [day] of the month, as I [was] among the captives by the river of Chebar, [that] the heavens were opened, and I saw visions of God.

Another mention of the solid sky (the heavens, also known as the firmament) that needed to be opened. How will these aliens ever land on our planet if our sky is solid? Apparently, God has to open the sky for them. This is quite silly, in reality, very few modern humans still think that the sky is solid. And besides, did god open the sky each time we sent up our own astronauts?

Ezekiel 1:2
In the fifth [day] of the month, which [was] the fifth year of king Jehoiachin’s captivity,

Ezekiel 1:3
The word of the LORD came expressly unto Ezekiel the priest, the son of Buzi, in the land of the Chaldeans by the river Chebar; and the hand of the LORD was there upon him.

The “word of the Lord” to Evangelicals means Jesus. So why didn’t the authors of psalms just call him Jesus? The “word of the lord” meant “the word of the lord” to the author of ezekiel. Modern Christians love to push their modern Jesus views upon authors who didnt know a single thing about Jesus because Jesus hadnt been invented during his lifetime. This whole trinity thing is meant to be very vague so as to blur the old testament with the new. But lets not get distracted from the original subject.

Ezekiel 1:4
And I looked, and, behold, a whirlwind came out of the north, a great cloud, and a fire infolding itself, and a brightness [was] about it, and out of the midst thereof as the colour of amber, out of the midst of the fire.

This “whirlwind” is supposed to be the flying saucer entering our atmosphere, and at first glance, it seems as though these descriptions are accurate. I disagree! I think the verses are trying to say that the “word” and “hand” of the Lord (or Jesus) are giving Ezekiel some form of mystical vision. This explanation is more in keeping with the rest of the books of the bible as a whole, mystically inspired compilation. Not to mention Jehovah, being a sky and war god, was typically described as a whirlwind, or a pillar of fire in much earlier Hebrew writtings. Lets move on to the description of the supposed alien intelligence;

Ezekiel 1:5
Also out of the midst thereof [came] the likeness of four living creatures. And this [was] their appearance; they had the likeness of a man.

Wow! Real aliens visiting Earth …I’m excited! How would they have the likeness of man, yet be aliens? We have massive amounts of proof that the appearances of the animals and life forms on this planet are indiginous to this planet. The vast majority of scientists say that alien life forms will look nothing like us because of them not sharing a common relative with us.

Ezekiel 1:6
And every one had four faces, and every one had four wings.

Say what? Four faces and four wings? This does’t sound like the typical “area 51″ alien! Do the alien conspiracy theorists know about this verse? And if they did would they acknowledge it conflicting with tier alien beliefs or would they just ignore it?

Ezekiel 1:7
And their feet [were] straight feet; and the sole of their feet [was] like the sole of a calf’s foot: and they sparkled like the colour of burnished brass.

What are the chances of so many Earth like features evolving on NON-Earth born creatures? These descriptions are making me suspicious as to weather anthropomorphism is at work in these verses. Anthropomorphism was very popular back in that day. Eqypt loved taking human and animals, mixing them together, and calling them “gods”.

Ezekiel 1:8
And [they had] the hands of a man under their wings on their four sides; and they four had their faces and their wings.

Ezekiel 1:9
Their wings [were] joined one to another; they turned not when they went; they went every one straight forward.

Ezekiel 1:10
As for the likeness of their faces, they four had the face of a man, and the face of a lion, on the right side: and they four had the face of an ox on the left side; they four also had the face of an eagle.

So now it’s starting to show its true colors. The Hebrews, who were familiar with the Egyptian tradition of mixing human and animal parts to create a new “species”, or anthropomorphized, were doing nothing more than inventing their own fantastic creatures for the obvious reasons of capturing the attention and imagination of the audience of this story, among other mystical/symbolic reasons lost in secrecy and history.

Above is a picture of the Egyptian God Horus, who has many similarities with the Christian demigod Jesus Christ, he is often depicted as a hawk-headed human.

Ezekiel 1:11
Thus [were] their faces: and their wings [were] stretched upward; two [wings] of every one [were] joined one to another, and two covered their bodies.

Ezekiel 1:12
And they went every one straight forward: whither the spirit was to go, they went; [and] they turned not when they went.

This is a more accurate version of these mythological creatures being described. The “Tetramorph”. They forgot to draw calf feet on its feet as is mentioned in verse 7. We are finally getting to the truth of the subject, with a noticeable flaw in this theory: This creature is obviously Chimerical, and therefore seemingly untrue. The above-pictured creature would never be seen on shows such as “Unsolved Mysteries” because of this reason. People who are smart enough to know better can see that this creature is merely a vehicle for symbolic teaching. something that may very well has been lost in the past.

Ezekiel 1:13
As for the likeness of the living creatures, their appearance [was] like burning coals of fire, [and] like the appearance of lamps: it went up and down among the living creatures; and the fire was bright, and out of the fire went forth lightning.

Can you be a bit more vague? So many words, so little discerning descriptions.. a mark of a true snake oil salesman. I can see where some people would think of space ships flying up and down with their exhaust being considered flames and their laser canons being considered lightening. But that isnt what I am getting from this story personally. Perhaps the author is writting down a vision he once had on pyschotropic drugs? Perhaps there is some secret meaning to these verses that was only explained once you got into the fold of this authors group.

Ezekiel 1:14
And the living creatures ran and returned as the appearance of a flash of lightning.

I’m sure that in the future, if we have transporters like the Star Trek series, the apologists will suggest that this above verse was proof of the transporter technology in the bible, and that the alien/angels taught early man about it. It only goes to show that if you revolve around religious/ conspiracy theory circles, that it always pays to be as vague as possible.

Ezekiel 1:15
Now as I beheld the living creatures, behold one wheel upon the earth by the living creatures, with his four faces.

Let me show you why it is so vague; Ezekiel admits that he is staring straight at the creatures, and that suddenly a wheel was on the earth by the living creatures. How did they put the wheel there? Where did the wheel come from? How big is the wheel? How wide is the wheel? Etc.. Not a single good description. Merely vague nouns that can easily be twisted to mean whatever you wanted them to mean. “oh, the wheel wasnt really a whell, it was symbolic for (insert political belief here) and therefore if you dont agree with that political belief then you are going against the prophets”.

Ezekiel 1:16
The appearance of the wheels and their work [was] like unto the colour of a beryl: and they four had one likeness: and their appearance and their work [was] as it were a wheel in the middle of a wheel.

OK, we now know what color the wheel is…wait a minute…the last verse specifically mentions “one wheel”, and now the next verse says “wheels” meaning more than one! In a single verse we have jumped numbers dramatically. Ezekiel cant keep up with his own writings. Either that or these verses have been tampered with throughout history.

Ezekiel 1:17
When they went, they went upon their four sides: [and] they turned not when they went.

Now that makes me think of a classic flying saucer without the spinning effect. But they are just wheels.

Ezekiel 1:18
As for their rings, they were so high that they were dreadful; and their rings [were] full of eyes round about them four.

I’m sure the author new the difference between eyes and lights, as is apparent in Ezekiel 1:13. I am VERY confident that he says what he intends. There are eyeballs around the rings. People who are hallucinating on mushrooms and other psychoactive drugs tend to see things like this as well.

Ezekiel 1:19
And when the living creatures went, the wheels went by them: and when the living creatures were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up.

So the aliens were not in or on the wheels. The wheels are described as being next to them. So that when the tetramorph went up into the air, the wheels followed him. The wheels are not described as being ships. The are merely described as being wheels.

Ezekiel 1:20
Whithersoever the spirit was to go, they went, thither [was their] spirit to go; and the wheels were lifted up over against them: for the spirit of the living creature [was] in the wheels.

Was their spirit (i.e. literally breath, or symbolically their “magical” essence) inside of the wheels, or were the creatures themselves in the wheels? I do not think the creatures are physically inside of the wheels, because verses 1:19-21 suggests that the wheels are actually following them around like lost puppies. Nope, doesn’t sound like a ship to me. Regardless, if they were ships, I’m sure the author would have mentioned them being familiar to water craft or the like, by specifically calling them ships. The “spirit in the wheel” sounds almost like the Tetramorph has mental control over the wheel.

Ezekiel 1:21
When those went, [these] went; and when those stood, [these] stood; and when those were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up over against them: for the spirit of the living creature [was] in the wheels.

See what I mean about making the wheels sound as if they are following the creatures? The mention of their “spirits” in the wheel could mean many things because the word “spirit” is an ambiguous terminology. I think the context the author is trying to extend is that the wheels are mentally controlled by the creatures, or something like that. Perhaps he is trying to assert some long forgotten symbolic mysticism, in my humble opinion.

Ezekiel 1:22
And the likeness of the firmament upon the heads of the living creature [was] as the colour of the terrible crystal, stretched forth over their heads above.

Notice the mentioning of the firmament above the heads of the creatures. These next few verses sound as if the author is trying convince us that the sky is momentarily being held up by these creatures. If you don’t believe me when I say the bible says the sky is solid, then look at these verses: Genesis 1:8 And God called the firmament Heaven..and this verse; Genesis 7:11 …and the windows of Heaven were opened. That starts the flood of Noah, and this verse; Genesis 8:2…and the windows of Heaven were stopped, and the rain from Heaven was restrained…that ends the flood of Noah. What exactly is a “terrible crystal”? Because I have no idea what this “terrible crystal” is, my imagination wants to say that this is some glass like dome keeping the creatures inside the wheel, but that is only because I am REACHING for that conclusion out of a natural need for everything to have an explanation, instead of just admitting that I DONT KNOW what this author is writing about. Anyway’s, a few verses ahead he will say that God, as usual, is on his throne above this very same firmament. So I will rationally conclude that it is not a spaceship dome.

Ezekiel 1:23
And under the firmament [were] their wings straight, the one toward the other: every one had two, which covered on this side, and every one had two, which covered on that side, their bodies.

Ezekiel 1:24
And when they went, I heard the noise of their wings, like the noise of great waters, as the voice of the Almighty, the voice of speech, as the noise of an host: when they stood, they let down their wings.

Apologists generally use the word “host” or “hosts of heaven” (Genesis 2:1) to “prove” that the bible mentions the planets of our solar system. This is not a proof of specific scientific knowledge; it is a sweeping generalization. The hosts in these verses are clearly angels and other mythical beings.

Ezekiel 1:25
And there was a voice from the firmament that [was] over their heads, when they stood, [and] had let down their wings.

Ezekiel 1:26
And above the firmament that [was] over their heads [was] the likeness of a throne, as the appearance of a sapphire stone: and upon the likeness of the throne [was] the likeness as the appearance of a man above upon it.

See, I told you it was God above the firmament. The bible is consistent in saying that the sky is solid, and that God’s throne dwells just above it.

Ezekiel 1:27
And I saw as the colour of amber, as the appearance of fire round about within it, from the appearance of his loins even upward, and from the appearance of his loins even downward, I saw as it were the appearance of fire, and it had brightness round about.

The above verse was a description of Jehovah given from a crotch point of view. God is a huge pillar of flame. God is constantly spoken of as being jealous, petty, cruel, quick to anger, quick to judge, quick to demand the slaughter of millions, and described as being wreathed in flames. If they didnt put the word “Jehovah” next to these descriptions, I would think they were describing a devil.

Ezekiel 1:28
As the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud in the day of rain, so [was] the appearance of the brightness round about. This [was] the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. And when I saw [it], I fell upon my face, and I heard a voice of one that spake.

Notice the mention of “the bow that is in the cloud” (i.e. rainbow). According the Christian mythology, the rainbow is a promise by God to never open the windows of heaven and drown everyone on earth again. Sort of like a warrior “laying down his bow” so as to not harm us again. Don’t you just love rainbow promises? This is also another chance to prove my point about these verses being mystical symbolisms. He has no idea what a rainbow is, therefore he thinks it a sign from god.

So, here is my conclusion;

Flying saucers from God? A pure and true religion taught by extraterrestrial? Proof that extraterrestrial intelligence evolved and contacted primitive humans? The religious heroes of old being knowledgeable of extremely advanced technology?

I have only one thing to say in answer to these theories: BULLCRAP!!! This is nothing more than the typical, unscientific trash that pseudo-religious conspiracy theorists spew. They are easily debunked with the analyzing of just a few bible verses.