God

Praise me, HAW HAW! Well I have been on a thousand year binge so far… well… pretty close to it. Anyways, I’ve been chugging brewskies and stupid juice all day and all night and I’ve almost got my old score of 999 years beat! I was so lonely before, spending eternity in perfection before I created myself, so I decided to create this fucked up world you are living in now just to get my kicks. I love you guys so much I made your planet the center of everything so that you could feed my ego with song and praise while I get my drink on. HAW HAW! Check out this video of my handiwork…

Mary was such a tease. I didnt even ask her if she wanted it, I gave her the whole of my Godly Girth. HAW HAW. She was screaming: “Oh God, Oh God, Oh God”. Who cares if she was married or didnt want to be raped? I Didnt. Joseph was like: “What the fuck God?! I married her because she was a fresh virgin, and you popped it before I did?! Thanks alot!” I had to rape Mary to impregnate her with myself because I needed to be born out of her so that I could sacrifice myself to myself and raise myself from the dead in order to convince myself to forgive my own creations for me not making them as perfect as I should have made them by giving them an option of either believing in how I sacrificed myself to myself in order for them to have a way for me to forgive them or they can just burn in a flaming torture chamber for all eternity.